I was kinda sad seeing Hagar leaving us. I had a chat two days before my king told her to leave the family for good. As painful as it came out to be, I think the separation was needed.
She told me that she's felt broken ever since she made a decision to become the 3rd wife to the King. I tried to understand what she means by the word 'broken' as I felt I needed to understand her state of mind in our home.
She says after giving her heart to the king Kofi, there are a lot of things shes compromised for the family. She always believed her Prince Charming is somewhere waiting for him and thought he would be a Bollywood star. Kofi has so far connected to he the way she has never felt and has led her to totally compromised on everything she's ever believed in.
Hagar said she doesn't believe in animal cruelty and shes is a vegetarian. After joining the family, she finds herself buying food which has meat in them. It's been hard for her to tell the king that she wouldn't be able to do that again as it goes it affects her psychologically every time. She loves the King so much that she doesn't want to say no to him. I felt a bit sorry for her and I advised Hagar to find the best moment to explain her situation to the king and he is a good man to understand.
Hagar had to leave her religion and believe to follow the God of King Kofi. She explained the two believes clashes with whatever she has believed in from childhood. God of Isreal teachings are against Reincarnation, the concept of creation is different and now she doesn't know what to believe or not. She is very confused with her religion and believes. I could understand where she was coming from as the teachings of the God of Isreal is certainly not what the Asians believe in. Poor Hagar...
Hagar also felt very jealous after I told her I am carrying the next child of the king. She couldn't hide it and she became quite hostile to me. I became afraid of what she could do to me since we have been eating her food and sometimes I am left with her in the house alone with the children when King and Sister Mary goes out. I didn't feel safe with her. She answers my questions rudely and I can't stand her level of hatred towards me. It's better she is sent away as I want to enjoy my first pregnancy.
Hagar says she has no regret having to give her virginity to the king and not getting her house.
She was happy to stay but somehow I felt she wanted the king to herself making every reason a business. They will be on the road almost all day and wanting more tie to be discussing 'business'. So I told myself if her virginity issue isn't a bother to her and she says she enjoyed every moment of it, why should I feel for her then.
I am happy Haggar has been sent away by the king. I can see my sister Mary much happier too.
It is my birthday on Christmas eve I wanted a celebration but the king told me it will be a quiet birthday because I should take things slow
Merry Christmas and Happy new year. I am thinking of releasing one of my pictures in my Christmas costumes. What do you think?
I am Shulamite and that is my pride